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j a n u a r y ' 0 5

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for chance...

happy fucking january
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january 31
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(between friends...)

she - gee, tell me something you "know, for sure".

me - ... something I "know, for SURE"? hmmmm.... (pause) the only thing I "know, for sure" is that I don't know a damn thing "for sure"...

xoxo,
gee

january 30
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I
miss
you
already...

xoxo,
gee

january 29
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"The work of art which I do not make, none other
will ever make." - Simone Weil

january 28
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*s*n*o*w*d*a*y*

no work
no school
no sight
of the ground

the world
outside my window
sleeps today
underneath
a white, snowy blanket

it's freezing
out there
thank god
it's warm
in here

xoxo,
gee

january 27
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"...let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook
that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding
of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate
love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the
beloved in your heart and a song of praise
upon your lips."

(from The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran)

january 26
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me - I know... silly me.... silly gee. But I WANT to be silly. I don't need any of this to make sense. I don't need for things to be more practical or reasonable...

he - I want you to be as silly and unreasonable as you can be or ever have been. I don't need for things to be normal. Let's keep it strictly oddball.

me - You inspire me to soar to new heights of unreasonable silliness... "normal" has never come easy to me... "oddball" is a piece of cake.

xoxo,
gee

january 25
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beloved lover 

I see you here,
invisible

I hear your whispers,
silent

tonight, I will bathe
in the light of you
and become
intoxicated
by the essence of you

my beloved,
I surrender
to you

tonight,
I am yours...

xoxo,
gee

January 24
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I sleep on a cloud . . . 

drifting
through dreams
reserved
for you

my love,
just call
out to me
and
I
will
come
to you

when I do, wrap
yourself around me, cradle me
in the warmth
of you
and
carry
me
home

xoxo,
gee

January 23
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I am
falling

falling

falling

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

please
catch me
so that
I may
catch my
breath

xoxo,
gee

january 22
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"but I'm NOT dreaming..."
I say, a second time

you spin me
around and kiss my cheek

"are you sure?"
you ask

I laugh...

"absolutely not."

xoxo,
gee

january 21
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I am a sculptor, a molder of form. 
In every moment I shape an idol.
But then, in front of you, I melt them down
I can rouse a hundred forms
and fill them with spirit,
but when I look into your face,
I want to throw them in the fire.
My souls spills into yours and is blended.
Because my soul has absorbed your fragrance,
I cherish it.
Every drop of blood I spill
informs the earth,
I merge with my Beloved
when I participate in love.
In this house of mud and water,
my heart has fallen to ruins.
Enter this house, my Love, or let me leave.

(rumi)

xoxo,
gee

january 20
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t h i s
i n t e r n e c i n e
r a c e

nobody won

they have all
gone home
now

look around

there is
nobody here
to blame
or punish

there is no such thing
as justice

it's
just us...

xoxo,
gee

january 19
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where are you, gee...? 
you ask

here, I say...
I am here... quietly here...

is there something wrong...
did I say something...
what happened, gee?
you ask...

I close my eyes
and exhale,
slowly
softly

sometimes,
often times
the only place I am able
to hear
the harmony
is within
the silence

xoxo,
gee

january 18
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Here, in my sacred space... 
I will hold you close

as if for the first time
as if for the last time

ohhh, my love...

until
next
time...

xoxo,
gee

january 17
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let me taste you... 

drink you
savor every drop
of you

your essence
and mine, combined
playfully sliding
across my tongue,
dancing a smile
across my face

ohhh, my love...
fill my belly
fill my soul

xoxo,
gee

january 16
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to my goddess, my god 

you are...

my reason, my
cause and effect, my
before, during, and after

my silent mystery, my
echoed understanding

you are the flash of hope
in this twisted soul

you are the inspiration
in the mind of this dreamer

you are my weary sigh, my
jaded exhale

you are my stolen moment of pleasure, the
constant ache in my heart

you are the wine on my lips, the
look in my eyes

you are my wonder, my
surprise

you are my joy
you are my pain

you are my tears
you are my laughter

you are nothing
you are everything

you are
me

and you
are

my
beloved

xoxo,
gee

january 15
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a prayer 
to my goddess, my god, my beloved

may I remember ...

as I accept
this worldly life, I am
accepting you

as I honor this
wondrous earth,
I am honoring you

as I care for
my humble self,
I am caring for you

as I embrace
another,
I am embracing you

as I fall in love,
I am falling in love
with you

xoxo,
gee

january 14
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xoxo,
gee

january 13
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You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe I'm sinking down.

(lyrics by Robert Johnson)

xoxo,
gee

january 12
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I am fucking crazy about you...
either that, or I am just fucking crazy.

quite possibly,
both.

xoxo,
gee

january 11
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on this day,
I am vital
I am gentle
I am genuine
I am graceful
I am heart
I am soul
I am me

I am Gee

xoxo,
gee

january 9
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I turn to him with tears,
and ask,
"Is 'what-it-was'
now 'less-than-it-was'
simply because it
'no-longer-is'...?"

He smiles
and whispers,
"My darling,
that is only for you
to decide..."

xoxo,
gee

january 8
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ohhhhhhh fuck.

january 7
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* U * G * L * Y * 

let me look at you
let me see you

take it off
all of it
and show me
the side
you hide

then, if you will,
allow me to stand here
for a moment,
bare,
knee deep
in my filth

here,
gritty and sticky,
I will smile at you

maybe here
you will find yourself smiling
back at me

maybe here,
together,
we can watch in wonder
as the ugliness
transforms into
a
genuine
radiance...

xoxo,
gee

 

january 6
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"You look like a boy..."

Me - What, Sophie...? I look like a boy?

Sophie - Umm... (*giggle*) yes, a BOY. In that hat, you silly goose.

Me - Ohhh... thanks for clarifying.

Sophie - It's ok, though. You only look like a boy when you wear that hat. That's the ONLY time.

Me -- Ok, dear. Got it. Thanks.

(pause...)

Sophie -- At least you look like a PRETTY boy...

Me -- (*sigh*)

january 5
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It's past midnight... 
and yet,
I wander and roam
from room to room...

this house
has me under
her spell

captivated

how I love her
for this

xoxo,
gee

january 4
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remember... 

"...if I can
remember
to know this will
conquer me
if I can
just walk alone
and try to escape
into me..."

(lyrics to "Remember" by "Disturbed")

xoxo,
gee

january 3
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every
day,
I
play...

xoxo,
gee

january 2
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maryjanes

some days,
I am
a woman
in little girl shoes

other days,
I am
a little girl
in grown-up shoes

silly, silly me,
silly, silly gee...

xoxo,
gee

january 1
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I'm just another outerspace hobo 
living by the code . . .

wander often
peek inside
tip it over
dump it out
sniff through it
scratch your head
and wonder

( a lot )

play like you're nine
eat dessert first
say thank you
and, if you feel like it,
go ahead and wipe your mouth
on your sleeve

( enthusiastically, of course )

happy-happy 2005...

xoxo,
gee

"I'd rather be hated for who I am,
than loved for who I am not."
( - Kurt Cobain )

all art, photos, and writing displayed on this site
are original creations
by me, gee cobain
(unless otherwise noted)

~ all rights reserved ~

*thankyouverymuch*

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