|
| february 28 |
|
to my home,
sweet home...
my heart breaks
each time I pause and think
of your fate, looming and unavoidable...
yet
the words of
Alfred Lord Tennyson come to mind...
" 'tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all."
xoxo,
gee
| february 27 |
|
the city at night
I walk
a few steps behind
the parade
of four familiar parkas,
giddy laughter bubbling up
from somewhere beneath
puffy, nylon hoods
suddenly, the bitterness
of february stings
only my cheeks
and
I
smile
xoxo,
gee
| february 26 |
|
she - "You must be devastated... that is just tragic.
You know, if you make it through all of this, you'll be unstoppable..."
me - "Funny how you say 'if'..."
xoxo,
gee
| february 25 |
|
wondering...
remembering, washing
my hair, gazing out at
those colorado mountains
as I looked out
at them, could they
have been looking in
at me...?
I would like to believe so...
xoxo,
gee
| february 24 |
|
it's
almost
time
"time to make the donuts"
that is...
xoxo,
gee
| february 23 |
|
r e s t l e s s . . .
xoxo,
gee
| february 22 |
|
I was five when we would jump into your monte carlo (the green hornet... remember? you called that car "the green hornet"...)
and you would drive us to carvel for an ice cream after supper... and you would buy me my vanilla cone with the chocolate
sprinkles and make me eat all the sprinkles off before I got back into the car... and once, on the way home, a car sped out
from nowhere, right across the intersection, and we slammed into it, even as you slammed on the brakes... and jimmy and I,
sitting on the front seat next to you, were thrown forward as we hit... jimmy, leaving a permanent impression there, on the
dash, with his teeth... me, screaming, horrified, seeing that my ice cream, cone and all, was completely smashed into the
radio... and you jumped out, yelling at the other driver, as I began to hyperventilate with each vanilla drip-drip-drip, fearing
that I broke the radio, that I ruined the car, that you would be mad at me... and then, I heard "are you hurt?"
from a woman, somebody's grandmother perhaps, looking in through the window... and crying so hard, I couldn't bring my voice
to form anything that sounded like a word... and so I just pointed... to the melting mess... to the obliterated radio... to
you... and she reached into her pocketbook and pulled out a bandage, wrapping it around the imaginary cut on the finger I
was pointing with... then she smiled and walked away... and when you came back to the car, you said how lucky we were that
nobody was seriously hurt... and you checked jimmy's mouth... and you pointed to my finger, to the little bandage, and you
asked me if I was ok... and, before I could answer, I watched you pull your handkerchief out of your pocket, wiping up some
of the dripping ice cream... only then could I whisper, "I'm fine..."
tonight, as I said goodnight, knowing that the morning will greet you with triple by-pass surgery, I sat crying, unable
to form words... "are you ok?" you asked... no grandmothers peeking in through windows... no bandages wrapped with
love around imaginary boo-boo's... but for a moment, I saw you there, with your perfectly white hankerchief, wiping away the
dripping mess... only then could I whisper, "I'm fine..."
be ok, dad...
be better than ok... I love you.
xoxo,
gee
| february 21 |
|
a tribute
to
Hunter S. Thompson (1939-2005)
xoxo,
gee
| february 20 |
|
I promised you a walk
in the springtime
I may come and
go, shine and fade
a thousand times
from now
until then
have heart, my dear
just tell me when
and where
and I promise
to meet you
there
xoxo,
gee
| february 19 |
|
ohhh, life...
how you breathe
down my neck
and steal
my breath
away,
suffocating me
with your agony,
with your ecstacy
ohhh, life...
I am breathless...
I am breathless...
xoxo,
gee
| february 18 |
|
I play,
and suddenly
I am
somewhere else,
somebody else...
"am-I-any-good-at-this"
has no place
here
it doesn't matter
my legs,
stiff and numb
the coffee,
cold
it doesn't matter
xoxo,
gee
| february 17 |
|
my clever universe
why do I
complicate you so, when you
remain so perfectly
simple?
so often, I cry out
to you, asking for
a break
what do you do?
you
break
me
I am
complicated and foolish
you are
simple and wise
be careful what you ask for,
you say...
you
will
get
it
ohhh, yes...
my clever universe
I
get
it
now
xoxo,
gee
| february 16 |
|
"Is it worth it can you even hear me
Standing with your spotlight on me
Not enough to feed the hungry
I'm tired and I felt it for awhile now
In this sea of lonely
The taste of ink is getting old
It's four o' clock in the fucking morning
Each day gets more and more like the last day
Still I can see it coming
While I'm standing in the river drowning
This could be my chance to break out
This could be my chance to say goodbye
At last it's finally over
Couldn't take this town much longer
Being half dead wasn't what I planned to be
Now I'm ready to be free
So here I am it's in my hands
And I'll savor every moment of this
So here I am alive at last
And I'll savor every moment of this"
(from "The Taste of Ink" by The Used)
xoxo,
gee
| february 15 |
|
I know nothing
of your world
I know not how
your earth feels
your seasons smell
your breeze tastes, there
upon your lips
I know nothing of
your sense
of humor
of beauty
of wisdom
of propriety
of loathing
of perception
of
love.
look
down...
the feet you see there
are the only feet to intimately know
every step of your journey...
yours.
look up...
the eyes you see here
gaze upon one world,
from another
mine.
I know nothing
of your world
even as you share it with me,
as I share mine with you,
standing together
as one
I know nothing
of your world
but that
is why
I love you
so
dearly...
xoxo,
gee
| february 14 |
|
" this is love: to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall
each moment.
first, to let go of life.
finally, to take a step without feet "
( ~ rumi ~ )
happy valentine's day,
my love...
happy valentine's day,
my
beloved...
xoxo,
gee
| february 13 |
|
(from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force")
Carl:
"Ever since my son was never conceived
because I never had consensual sex
without money involved,
I always
sorta
looked at you
as, well...
kind of a thing
that I could,
you know...
live next to,
in accordance with state laws."
Meatwad:
"That's so sweet.
You're trying to say that you love me!"
xoxo,
gee
| february 12 |
|
how can I
miss
so deeply
the kisses
that have
never drifted, and
wandered, and
roamed, and
lingered here?
I don't know...
but
I
do...
xoxo,
gee
| february 11 |
|
your voice
in my ear
your voice
in my ear
nothing
tickles me
quite like
your voice
in my ear
xoxo,
gee
| february 10 |
|
enlighten me, please...!
xoxo,
gee
| february 8 |
|
you
enter
the
deepest
part
of
me
fill
me
with
a
tremendous
ache
beautiful
immediate
inescapable
rumble
up
down
across
around
through
the
center
of
me
rattle
me
right
to
the
core
and
then
explode . . .
as
do
I
xoxo,
gee
| february 7 |
|
Wheresoever you go,
go with all your heart (~ Confucius)
xoxo,
gee
| february 6 |
|
here gee, they say
what... what is this, I ask
it is a hoop, they say
ahhh, it is... I say
you are to jump through it, they instruct
that's silly, I laugh
but you HAVE TO, they persist... it's what we do...
here, I smile... thank you, but please keep your hoop...jump all you want, my friends... but me, I'll be over here, taking
pictures of the clouds
xoxo,
gee
| february 5 |
|
it is late
now
but
not
too late,
my love
darkness comes,
closes in
yet,
I do not close
the door
no, not
anymore
it is late
now
but
not
too
late,
my
love
xoxo,
gee
| february 5 |
|
each day,
I know
more and more
about
less and less
perhaps
one day
I will come to know
everything
about nothing
so far,
so good,
anyway...
xoxo,
gee
| february 4 |
|
my dearest hando,
the chickens aren't counted and
I can't seem to make
heads or tails of
the sleeping dogs
I just can't pay attention
or the piper
so now they're
pulling my leg
the village misses you
love,
your amigo loco,
chico
xoxo,
gee
| february 3 |
|
"to be nobody-but-myself in a world
which is doing its best, night and day,
to make me everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight,
and never stop fighting"
(ee cummings)
xoxo,
gee
| february 02 |
|
my familiar stranger . . .
I see you
I recognize you
I remember you
your kisses
taste like home to me
xoxo,
gee
| february 1 |
|
so...
do you?
xoxo,
gee
|
