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for chance...

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happy fucking september

november 6
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gee's magical, helpful hints:

# 51: leaving your hair down while cooking (especially when doing any boiling or steaming) will give those natural curls an instant boost!

(Hahaaa..!)

xoxo,
gee

february 9
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if I invited you over, 
would you come...?

Maybe we would watch a movie...
maybe you'd let me torture you a little by playing my favorite one -
(The Ref w/ Denis Leary) - even though
Christmas is long gone.
Or maybe we'd randomly pull books off the shelf,
reading bits and pieces out loud,
of Cummings or Sartre or Camus.
Maybe I'd watch you drink your hard stuff
as I suck on the same watery beer and
I'd scrunch up my nose and ask you for the seventeenth time
how-can-you-drink-that-shit...
to which you might reply
how-can-you-drink-THAT-shit...

...or maybe I'd grab my guitar and
plinka-plinka-plinka something and ask you
to think of a song you'd like me to play...
and after you name twenty-nine songs
I've never heard of or have no clue how to play,
you might go, "Holy fuck, Gee! Know any Metallica??"
and I'd exclaim that I know "Turn The Page"!!...
and you'd mutter something about that
not really being Metallica but what the fuck,
play it anyway... and I would.
I might even play you everything I know until
you get that goofy-crazy look on your face and go,
"CHRIST, Gee! Would'ja put that thing AWAY, already?"
And maybe I would...

..and then I might call you from the other room,
"Come check THIS out!"
And you would come in and sit with me at my
computer as I show you my favorite fetish website...
and you'd grin... and you might go,
"That's nothing. Check THIS one out..."
and then you'd show me your favorite.
I'd probably laugh and call your a perv and
then get real close to the screen to see
what-the-HELL-they-are-DOING... and then go
"HOLY SHIT!" and call you a perv again...
and blush... and then say, "Show me more..."
and suck down the rest of my beer as I stare in
astonishment and amusement,
and in silly, lovely pleasure...

...and maybe then we'd agree that we both
could use some fresh air and we'd exit my house,
into the night, and walk over to 7-11
where you'd buy a pack of smokes and
I'd get a slurpee. And you might ask
what the hell I wanted a slurpee for... and I'd probably
ask what the hell you want smokes for...
and walking home I might say that you
look awfully sexy smoking that cigarette
and you might say that I
look awfully sexy slurping that slurpee...
and maybe you'd turn your head and
blow your smoke at me...
then I'd turn my head and
blow some of my slurpee at you through the straw... and run like hell...
and you might just chase me... and catch me...
and with barely an inch between us, I might whisper,
"Do you realize how long it's been since I've had sex...?"
And maybe I'd see that beautiful grin of yours...
and you might softly laugh, whispering something
about possibly knowing someone who could hook me up...
and I would smile...
and wiggle out from under you, and run again...

hoping that you'd chase me some more...

so...
if I invited you over,
would you come...?

xoxo,
gee

april 15
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they say that
dogs and their owners
look alike

obviously,
this freaky phenomenon
happens to best friends, too

(wesley, I think I'm your sister...)

xoxo,
gee

august 28
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my
hands
are
tied

my
hands
are
tied

and so, I pray...

"may it be, oh lord,
that I seek not so much
to be consoled
as to console,
to be understood
as to understand,
to be loved
as to love,
because it is in giving oneself
that one receives;
it is in forgetting oneself
that one is found;
it is in pardoning
that one obtains pardon."

( st. francis of assisi, 1181-1226 )

xoxo,
gee

september 24
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" I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature,
let me do it now;
let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again "

(~ ettiene de grellet ~)

xoxo,
gee

october 31
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happy halloween, baby!

xoxo,
gee

december 05
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one of the sweetest feelings
I've ever known
is the one
that I have
when
I'm waiting
for you...

xoxo,
gee

february 15
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how do free birds survive
in a world such as this...?

or
do
they...?

xoxo,
gee

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august 25
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august 23
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august 21
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august 17
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august 15
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august 11
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september 26
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september 24
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his beautiful body presses firmly against hers

he inhales her from her neck to her chin...
brushing a kiss, barely there, across her mouth, moist...
anticipating...

he looks deeply into her, beyond
the others, to a place
no one before him has ever
looked, touched

his soft smile the key
opening the doorway to the sublime

she feels her body weaken
beneath him, releasing now
to his power

with a gracefulness
born of surrender, she pulls her wrists
up, together
an offering
of trust
and honor
that only he deserves

an erotic silence
is broken
by a tender moan

was that him...?

was that her...?

inch by delicate inch,
he intently spins his masterpiece
of woven resistance around her

intoxicated by his whispers
and nourished by his moist breath,
she feels her chest
violently rise and fall
within the ties he creates,
encircling her frame

her heart now racing
to the rhythm commanded
by him, he secures
her body and her soul,
together
within a cage
of illuminated splendor

she is his canvas

she is his pleasure

she is helpless

she is bound
by the hands
that have now become
as familiar to her as her own

terror rises from the depths of her
in suffocating waves, crashing
over her, a senseless fear
floods her body

completely vulnerable
and at his submission,
he brings her closer
to discover
her untouchable invulnerability

his touch ignites
her resurrection

his eyes become
her beacon home

his presence becomes
her saving grace

his outer bondage
releases her to an inner freedom, one
she never knew existed, one
she never imagined

a world so pure, so sacred
only he
can journey there,
only he
can take her there

xoxo,
gee

october 13
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because of you
I intimately know
the ache
of lust
and longing...

xoxo,
gee

october 10
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"Om Sri Rama Jaya Rama, Jaya, Jaya Rama"

xoxo,
gee

november 29
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one breath at a time,
she is moving
beyond a suffocation
once weighing on her,
weighing her down,
sucking the life out of her
like a blood thirsty leech

she is moving
toward all things now whispering
"godspeed on your journey, gee..."

xoxo,
gee

november 28
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san francisco

from the snug warmth
of the down comforter
to the cool kitchen floor,
I stand at the sink
sipping tap water
from my favorite mug

san francisco, it reads
yellow
with a red heart

my hand trembles
for a moment
as my bare feet
feel the sting
of the bitter wind
cutting through an opening
around the doorway
that I simply
cannot
seem
to find

xoxo,
gee

january 10
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a dream... 

of you
standing
with me
here
in the doorway
to my room

along
my neck,
your
warm
mouth
drifts
a path of kisses
floating like feathers, barely there

down

down

down
across
me

I cradle your head in my hands
your moist lips
pressing
against
my belly

hands
gliding across
my bare hips
around
to the small of my back
pulling me close

a gasp

ecstatic tremble

a tear streaked
whisper...

"I didn' know
I could feel any closer to you..."

xoxo,
gee

february 1
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"lovers don't finally meet somewhere,
they're in each other all along." (rumi)

xoxo,
gee

march 13
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"They showed me crimson, gold and lavender...
A shining parade
But there's no color I can have on earth
That won't finally fade...
When I wanted worlds to paint
And costumes to wear,
I think it was here
'Cause it never was there..."

(lyrics from the musical "Pippin")

xoxo,
gee

march 10
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"Two souls, alas, are housed within my breast,
And each will wrestle for the mastery there,
The one has passion's craving crude for love,
And hugs a world where sweet the senses rage;
The other longs for pastures fair above,
Leaving the murk for lofty heritage."

(Faust, part one - Goethe)

xoxo,
gee

april 14
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I
am

thinking of you...
missing you...
loving you...

"Love each other dearly always.
There is scarcely anything else in the world but that;
To love one another.
I see a light, I die happy."

(~ Jean Valjean's last words, Les Miserables ~)

xoxo,
gee

june 18
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only you...

you're the one,
dear goddess of mine,
who really knows me

you're the one
who really sees me

you're the one
who really hears me

you're the one
who feels every bit of this
with me

you have been with me, watching me
as I live...
as me,
writing the book...
the book-of-me

you say that I am the author, yet
I am here, suffocating within a chapter
of devastation
and heartache
and pain

why
did I write this?
how
did I create this?

my heart is breaking
and the air is too thick to breathe now...

dear goddess of mine,
come to me and help me
bring an end to this chapter

come to me and help me
begin to write a new one

or, I beg you,
come to me and help me
close this book forever

xoxo,
gee

july 28
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" I'm the trouble starter, fuckin' instigator
I'm the fear addicted, danger illustrated

I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter
you're the firestarter, twisted firestarter
I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter

I'm the bitch you hated, filth infatuated (yeah)
I'm the pain you tasted, fell intoxicated

I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter
you're the firestarter, twisted firestarter

I'm the self inflicted, mind detonator ( yeah)
I'm the one infected, twisted animator "

( "firestarter" lyrics, by prodigy )

xoxo,
gee

july 14
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you'll never really see her
if you are a grown man looking at her
through the eyes
of a teenage girl

xoxo,
gee

july 10
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sunday...

I open my eyes to the world,
still quiet

I smile,
peek-a-boo sunshine
sharing my bed

how I love mornings
like these

xoxo,
gee

august 18
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let me wrap myself around you

and then,
let me stay there

until you peel me off
or eternity comes...

something like that.

xoxo,
gee

october 26
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" helplessly hoping
her harlequin hovers nearby
awaiting a word

gasping at glimpses of gentle true spirit
he runs,
wishing he could fly,
only to trip at the sound
of goodbye

wordlessly watching
he waits by the window and wonders
at the empty place inside

heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams,
he worries,
did he hear a good-bye?
or even hello?

they are one person
they are two alone
they are three together
they are for each other

stand by the stairway
you'll see something certain
to tell you
confusion has its cost

love isn't lying
it's loose in a lady who lingers,
saying she is lost
and choking on hello

they are one person
they are two alone
they are three together
they are for each other"

( ~ lyrics to "helplessly hoping", stephen stills ~)

this song -- these lyrics -- this self-portrait...
to me,
they seem appropriate...

today,
to me,
they all just fit.

xoxo,
gee

november 05
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I think of you, and
I miss you...
but, why should I miss you, really?

" all I know is that I don't know
all I know is that I don't know nothing
all I know is that I don't know
all I know is that I don't know nothing " *

my sweet one,
look into my eyes
as I smile at you
and see with me
the beautiful things my mind
never will fully understand

xoxo,
gee

(~ lyrics quoted above
to "knowledge" by operation ivy ~)

december 15
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can't sleep...
don't want to,
stopped trying to...

perhaps,
I'm afraid to?

instead,
I rest
within
this restlessness

from across the room,
the radio plays,
"...now take a trip with me
but don't be surprised
when things aren't what they seem.
I've known it from the start
all these good ideas
will tear your brain apart.
scared but you can follow me
I'm too weird to live
but much too rare to die."

(lyrics to "bat country", avenged sevenfold)

ahhh... g'nite, sweet dears...

xoxo,
gee

january 26
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a free spirit,
my soul on fire,
I embrace this thing embracing me...

"hold on for dear life..."
it whipsers

I gasp
and grin,
" ohh my dear...
'dear life' is the only life
I know of."

xoxo,
gee

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january 17
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there isn't enough water in the world
to wash some things away

I step out and stand
before the mirror, dripping
bubbles to the puddle
at my feet

I am wet
I am cold
I am tired
I am clean

I am this,
I am that

I am this,
I am that

I AM THIS!
I AM THAT!

I AM!
I AM!
I AM!

bubbles? water? tears?

it doesn't matter...
I wipe them all away

and smile.

I am not
just another girl

xoxo,
gee

september 15
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I honestly can't tell
which is pounding harder --
my head, or
my heart

just kiss them both for me,
will you?

xoxo,
gee


all art, photos, and writing displayed on this site
are original creations
by me, gee cobain
(unless otherwise noted)

~ all rights reserved ~

*thankyouverymuch*

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